You know about the five love languages,? The idea being that we all have different ways we receive and express love, and that if you're expecting someone to show you their love by, say, buying you a Ferrari, but they show their love by getting up in the cold every morning to turn the furnace on so the house is warm when you get up--well, that's kind of a screwy example, sorry. But the point is, if you recognize one kind of expression of love, and your beloved shows their love differently, you may miss it, and become sad and/or resentful, which is one of life's less appealing emotional cocktails.
Well, my love language for children is Sugar. As in, I love you, so I bake for you. I love you, so I sneak you a little treat. I love you, so I put chocolate chips in your pancakes, let you lick the beater, and hand you bubble gum when you're doing your homework, because Karyn Purvis says it's okay.
The Winemaker, on the other hand, sees frequent doses of sugar as setting the kids up for obesity, diabetes, and a lifetime of emotional eating. (Now, WHERE would he get that idea?!?) So it's like, the "Die Early" language from his point of view.
This causes some confusion, and leaves us ripe for triangulation.
On a very related note, tomorrow is Oak's birthday, his first with us. We had a party with friends, and cheesecake, and goodie bags with candy, and a present from a friend that included a bag of candy, today. Now I'm working on his real birthday cake, which involves, yes, licking the beater and helping frost, and so on. I'm all, "But it's his birthday!" and the Winemaker is all "But we know that if we bend the rules once we fight the battle eternally after that!"