Thursday, June 26, 2014

FTSF: Compromise.

The prompt is "The one thing I'll never compromise on is..." and the blogger is stumped. 

I serve my kids foods my parents probably didn't even know existed.  I'm not talking pad thai and quinoa here, but chicken nuggets and top ramen.  My mom MADE HER OWN BREAD and we're not even Mormon.  So letting my kids eat crap just because it simplifies my life definitely feels like a compromise.

I was also raised with no TV, and felt no need to get one as an adult.  When I met my husband, he had 3 TVs in the house where he lived alone.  We quickly whittled that down to one, and banished it to a tiny spare room, but the TV itself has probably the same area as the previous 3 screens combined.  Compromise.

I buy fair trade chocolate chips...and Milky Ways.  I let my kids play video games I haven't screened.  I don't drive drunk, but I do drive after a glass or two of wine.  I read crap literature.  I let my students make a mockery of every seating chart I've ever made.  My happy place is the mountain, but I let my husband's grousing about gas costs focus much of my hiking on the city park.  It's an awesome park, alleged to be the country's largest forested area within city limits,'s a compromise.   I went camping every summer for 14 years with the same group of friends, whatever my schedule, my health, or my finances, but this year we're just doing a cookout because of others' schedules, health, and finances.

I live in the exact suburb I grew up mocking.  Suburbs themselves are a compromise of the worst kind--neither city nor country, losing the attractions of each but keeping the downsides of both.

Is there anywhere I won't compromise?  The longer I think about this, the more I begin to wonder.  But I finally come up with my answer.

Me and my Momma, a long time ago.

Love.  I don't compromise on love.  My love for my husband, my kids, my family and friends.  It's solid and real and one area where I am neither wishy-washy nor passive.  I love reading.  I love chocolate.  I love the woods.  I love my home state and the Baltic states.  These are unchangeable. 

Love is where I stand my ground.

Get Your Mamms Grammed!

That's what my friend Kristi always says.  We've been friends since 3rd grade, and when she turned 40, exactly four months before I did, she made her first mammogram appointment.  They found cancer.  She went through radiation.  She is a survivor.

My mom also had breast cancer, when she was about 65.  Having lost a dear friend to it before I was even born, and having seen women die of it in her job as a nurse, she already had her plan in place.  She made an appointment for a double mastectomy the day she got the results back.  Then she lived another 12 years.

I'm not very good about taking care of my health.  I love coffee, and sweets, and wine.  I don't work out.  I keep meaning to go to bed earlier.  But I get my mammogram every year.  It's a quick and easy appointment, and, although my dentist requires appointments to be made four months out, I get next-day appointments when I call the Breast Health Clinic.  There are so many ways to take care of ourselves that involve effort.  There are so many unknowns and uncontrollable things that can go wrong.  Breast cancer is common, and when caught early, very often treatable.  I get mammograms to honor my mom, my friend, and my mom's lost friend.  I get mammograms for the sake of my husband and kids.  Who do you do it for?